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Weddings & Toasts

Speech-ready jokes for best men, maids of honor, and brave parents at the mic.

Top Weddings & Toasts

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
• A best man speech should last about as long as the groom can last in the bedroom.
• A toast: may your love be modern enough to survive the times,
• To the happy couple: I've known [groom] for years, and he's told me he always wanted to marry his best friend.
• Marriage: where you spend the first year wondering why you didn't get married sooner,
• Marriage is a workshop.
• Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
• Being asked to be someone's best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don't really want to do it, but you know you have to. The only difference is:

Wedding tip: There's a fine line between funny and memorable at a wedding. Read our guide to being the right kind of funny as a wedding guest. Read the guide →

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