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Retirement

Jokes for retirement speeches, parties, and cards.

Top Retirement

• Retirement: the pay sucks,
• You know it's time to retire
• Retirement is the world's longest
• How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
• When is a retiree's bedtime?
• Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
• Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
• How do you know you are old enough to retire?
• Why did the robber retire?
• You've been promoted to Senior Vice President of Doing Nothing.
• Retirement is doing nothing

Speech tip: A retirement speech needs warmth, a few earned laughs, and the right moment to land each one. Read our guide. Read the guide →

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